If there is a universal thing that parents teach young children it is to chew with your mouth shut. Perhaps because we don’t enjoy seeing other peoples half masticated food, perhaps because it reminds us too much of beloved canines (many of them are starting to try to chew with their mouths shut, there is an imitation thing among dogs), maybe it’s because we don’t love to hear ourselves chew our own food with our lips slapping together.

It’s impossible to know with certainty, but we do know that it’s one thing that every parent teaches, or perhaps each little very smart kid realizes it’s the thing to do by watching mom and dad. We do not grow up chewing with our mouths open, or we don’t admit we know people who do.

We close our mouths when chewing, probably as an evolutionary advantage. Less food falls out.

The nose is more problematic, it is open all the time, but then again, something has to be open in order to breathe. Af first glance, the nose might be an obvious example of “Not very intelligent design.” Big snot-filled thing hanging right over the mouth? Always open? (But again, we agree, something had to always be open, we’re not dolphins.) But did it have to be pointed down right over the mouth?

Actually, yes, because back when we didn’t talk and used smell to tell us far more about the world than voices (think dogs) it was critical to smell one’s food before, well, mastication, because if something had made you sick before, chances are… that’s why some of us start upheaving every time we see bottles of rum.

So, we have evolutionary advantages to mouths closing when chewing and noses sitting wide open, above the mouth. And yet yesterday, we were told in a Birmingham Michigan (Wealthy) school district meeting:

Birmingham, Michigan:

Board of Education meeting on mask mandates.

This parents says, “If God wanted us to cover our mouth and nose — he would have made us that way.” pic.twitter.com/wlsv8dOiK4

— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) August 19, 2021

Well, someone certainly made all of us, but did it through evolution. Weird thing is, that same creator did it while giving us with brains smart enough to come up with vaccines (some brains smart enough to come up with vaccines) and thus isn’t that proof positive that God intended that we wear masks and use vaccines to stomp out diseases. We also have an immune system.

We will go to the net for answers:

She’s. Wearing. Glasses. https://t.co/WP3KYSQUw7

— Helen Kennedy (@HelenKennedy) August 19, 2021

Bwahahahaha

https://twitter.com/wickedshrapnel/status/1428465410307936262

While wearing clothes to cover up the parts that God gave you uncovered. You can’t make this shit up. https://t.co/tir7B9ArL3

— Carp (@robcarpenter81) August 19, 2021

God made some humans like this woman stupid or else we’d have to be looking at all these NAKED BODIES.

Imagine going into @Walmart with half blind (no glasses) nudists all over the place! @RexChapman https://t.co/Y97cd8U9tA

— Barbara (@GypseyBarke) August 19, 2021

By this logic:

If god wanted any part of our bodies covered we would've been born with permanent clothes on.

I WANT NO PANTS DAY EVERY DAY! IT'S MY GOD-GIVEN RIGHT!! #FreeTheFanny

Seriously, are these people even listening to **themselves** WTF??🙄 https://t.co/2DzL2Dkd6O

— Laura (@TadBad) August 19, 2021

Did God dress her this morning? https://t.co/NQQa8lYDai

— Brian Guest (@brguest20) August 19, 2021

https://twitter.com/wlsalyers/status/1428462488786411522

https://twitter.com/boelder/status/1428462013156581380

God didn't make us with umbrellas in our hands either. https://t.co/A3w3GDLPTY

— People Need People (@FantasyLeftover) August 19, 2021

Said while wearing clothes and glasses, holding a phone, speaking into a microphone and standing inside a building. https://t.co/dnOanSwogb

— Keith Smith (@KeithSmithNBA) August 19, 2021

https://twitter.com/DizyWalton/status/1428464447887233025

She said while wearing reading glasses…. And a jacket…. And shoes… and pants…. (Can’t confirm the pants thing) https://t.co/rBaYow67Tb

— Ryan Rash Williams (@RyRash1051) August 19, 2021

So many more.

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