As most everyone knows, Jenna Ryan is the Dallas realtor, the jet-setting, pretty blonde, who wasn’t going to prison because she was white and wealthy and such. (It is, actually, technically, “jail.” Prisons are run by the state for felons who must serve over a year). That didn’t work out as planned.

Jenna violated one of the cardinal rules after being charged with a crime and prior to sentencing – stay as anonymous as possible, try to be unseen in every way except for the good ways, showing up at work, picking kids up, etc. Jenna did the opposite, she thought of herself as a star and started to promote herself as such.

We will never know whether she might have received a lighter sentence had she shown a little humility and more remorse, it couldn’t have hurt. But Jenna has figured out a way to make all this positive! She is going to detox, work out, and lose 30 lbs. (As you will see in the video she is perfectly pretty and does not need to lose 30 lbs, only in our society would a woman like her feel compelled to lose that much weight.)

But, laughably, Jenna is hopeful that she will receive protein bars and shakes while in prison because she doesn’t want to be eating prison baloney and other awful food. Maybe she thinks she can order from Grub Hub.

It is tough to tell.

Jenna Ryan, who flew to J6 in a private jet and vowed she would “never go to prison,” is turning herself in soon. She says if she can lose 30 pounds in jail it will be worth it, plans on doing yoga in jail, detoxing from alcohol, and “hopefully they have those protein shakes.” pic.twitter.com/tGNSqYNXtJ

— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) December 6, 2021

Right, well, we don’t wish you good luck with that and, fortunately, we don’t particularly need to, Jen.

The net had some laughs about this, to put it with extreme understatement:

This is the most white privilege BS I've heard about being incarcerated. Many people develop high blood pressure while incarcerated because the food is not nutritional & there are few options with limited fruits & vegetables. pic.twitter.com/StEXHqwFlP

— KD (@Fly_Sistah) December 6, 2021

"I hope they have Himalayan pink salt and egg-white-only omelletes. And I don't do soy, gluten, or nitrites. Some of the people I meet in prison are going to be in the market for a house when they're released, so as a realtor I see this as a great networking opportunity."

— Peter Fotopoulos Bane of Morons/Colonel of Truth (@PeterFotopoulos) December 6, 2021

Food in jail tends to be heavy on starch & not the best. Better in prison than in county jail. Not sure if protein powder is available for purchase with commissary account. Suspect not. It almost certainly is not part of normal meals. May lose weight if big girls take your food.

— Pragmatic Centrist (@LeeHanc15772572) December 6, 2021

From the woman who brought you “I won’t go to prison because I’m white and blonde” comes “prison will be fun!”

— Dara (@daracohen) December 6, 2021

Try the gluten free breakfast buffet and have a macrobiotic smoothie for lunch at the juice bar. Then put on your Lulu Lemon leggings and get ready for Barre + Hot Yoga after lunch.

Prison, it's just like a spa hotel.

— Leslieoo7  (@Leslieoo7) December 6, 2021

Try the gluten free breakfast buffet and have a macrobiotic smoothie for lunch at the juice bar. Then put on your Lulu Lemon leggings and get ready for Barre + Hot Yoga after lunch.

Prison, it's just like a spa hotel.

— Leslieoo7  (@Leslieoo7) December 6, 2021

I'm reading all of this and thinking, what prison do you think she's going to? Probably a federal for white collar criminals. All the prison guards will be on her side. I think she's right, it will be a cake walk.

— Postal (@PostalWm) December 6, 2021

I don't think the commissary stocks protein shakes. The atmosphere probably isn't terribly appropriate for yoga either. Detoxing from alcohol shouldn't be a problem though. Everyone I know who has gone to jail came out looking really puffy and haggard from the food and stress.

— HereticHousewife (@HereticHousewif) December 6, 2021

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