This entire column will be filled with a lot of questions to which we don’t know the answers.

Yesterday, we reported on the creepy AF picture that Matt released of Ginger Luckey (his fiance) very much asleep, indeed – mouth wide open, asleep. Today, we can report upon the fact that Matt Gaetz and Ginger Luckey “eloped” to Catalina Island and married. We will get to the peculiar questions below the facts, from the New York Post:

US Rep. Matt Gaetz of Florida eloped to Southern California, marrying his girlfriend Ginger Luckey on Saturday in a small ceremony on Catalina Island.

The controversial 39-year-old Republican, who is under investigation as part of a sex trafficking probe, announced the wedding on his personal Twitter page. He exclaimed “I love my wife!” along with a photo of them together — he in a sport coat, she in a white dress.

Vanity Fair reports that Sergio Gor, a former staffer for Sen. Rand Paul, performed the ceremony that was attended by about 40 people. The couple had previously announced they would marry next year.

So the wedding got moved up, dramatically. Okay, that happens, often when someone is pregnant (almost always the woman). We presume that if Ginger is pregnant, we will find out in a polite time period. But there are other reasons weddings get moved up and Twitter is on to some of them.

We cannot possibly stress this enough, this is all speculation, by everyone. No one has any facts. The only “factual” aspect of this entire saga is that we recall Matt Gaetz announcing the engagement just prior to all the news fell out regarding his friend, Joel Greenberg, who essentially wrote a confession to the FBI that implicated Gaetz in all the awful stuff we’ve all read. That was convenient. Now, people on Twitter are speculating that the wedding may have been moved up to take advantage of the privileges that come along with marriage, including the fact that a spouse cannot be forced to testify against another spouse (though they can do so voluntarily).

To which, we say, we hope we see what happens and how all this plays out. Because for now, we can’t help but be beguiled that Gaetz is free to get married at all, unencumbered by criminal charges, and perhaps moving to an island a lot further away might have been his best play.

Matt Gaetz eloped to Southern California yesterday & married Ginger Luckey on Catalina Island.

*Translation: I’m going to be indicted very soon, & now she can't be forced to testify against me. #MattGaetzIsAPredator pic.twitter.com/PpeFVMzb9b

— Arctic Friend (@FriendEden100) August 22, 2021

And that, is pure speculation, but it’s not necessarily irresponsible speculation.

Despite plans to be married in August 2022
Matt Gaetz & Ginger Luckey eloped today
Wonder why Matt Gaetz got married so soon
Are those indictments perhaps imminent?
Because this is exactly the way to keep Ginger off the stand..https://t.co/ha2iPWSGyD

— Mona (@Monaheart1229) August 22, 2021

Here’s to hoping Matt Gaetz told Ginger Luckey some things before today. 🤞🏽 pic.twitter.com/ONeE9vj8zn

— Jesus Fucking Christ 🌈 (@SHEsus__Christ) August 22, 2021

https://twitter.com/ReportsDaNews/status/1429163142894993415

Did Matt Gaetz promise to love, honor and cherish Ginger Luckey until death do they part, she turns 30 or the statue of limitations on anything she can testify to runs out.

— Jimmy (@JimmyStreich) August 22, 2021

https://twitter.com/BobbyBigWheel/status/1429556855601307651

We don’t “know” anything. We do want to know and there are a lot of unanswered questions about Matt Gaetz, including why he hasn’t been indicted. If he is indicted in the next month, we might have some answers to a lot of the questions posed above.

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