The one thing that today’s Cullman, Alabama rally goers likely need the most – COVID vaccinations, will not be for sale on Saturday prior to the big speech, which, we’re sure, will be full of new material, new ideas, forward-thinking, full of new policy ideas and ways to take this country forward post 2022-24. Pffft. We kid, of course.

But everything else will be for sale, everything. We have to admit, the staff at this site is a bit embarrassed that we haven’t found a tiny “MAGA” branding iron to brand big hotdogs or sausage and selling $2.50 big dogs for $11.00 just outside the door. It is not like we’d be supporting Trump, we’d simply be selling food with some letters on it, expensive letters.

Regardless, the real vendors will be there, according to AL.com and, if you listen closely, their plans aren’t that different than our “shoulda'” plan. Get as much money out of their pockets as possible.

At first there was only one, then as the week went on, a trickle. But by Friday — a day before Donald Trump was set to stage a GOP-hosted rally in Cullman’s backyard — the sea of pro-Trump pop-up merchandise shops lining the city’s major thoroughfares had grown almost too numerous to count.

How many are selling gigantic hot dogs and sausage with “MAGA” magic branded right into them? Good thing no MAGAs read this site or there would be eight, and we aren’t necessarily above such an idea. Again, we have no plans on selling anything really supporting him, just… food that they’d munch up fast, and then be gone. Such a novel idea would require pictures taken ($3.50 per picture, a bargain. Most people would pay a lot more than that for a picture of the owner of this site who is so beautiful, it’s almost rude. She is such a kind-hearted person that someone’s going to get in trouble for this column despite her being so beautiful. But that someone doesn’t make as much as the owner…)

Digression. Now back to business.

Following the Trump rally circuit has been a good business decision for New Orleans native Joe Prince (“People call me ‘Joe Trump,’” he jokes). Operating out of a sticker-festooned Ford van near the interchange at I-65 and Highway 278, Prince was just one of several pop-up shops that continued to coalesce at the exit nearest the former president’s Saturday night rally.

And people would call us “Flare Food,” without a single one of them in on the joke. They did talk to another non-branded hot dog vendor:

 He’s definitely a Trump supporter, and he’d vote that way again in 2024 if the opportunity were to arise. “But,” he confessed, Florida governor Ron DeSantis “is who I really want. I want somebody who can talk to people; talk to women, without all the controversy. I don’t really consider myself ‘left’ or ‘right.’ I’m gonna vote for what’s right, and if the person doesn’t fit those requirements, then I’ll pick the better one.”

Perfect. We won’t be alone. We don’t consider ourselves left or right, either. We consider ourselves very left and we have our own favorite over Trump, and will vote for what’s right.

We were born with a gift for this stuff. AND, this would not be a gift. It would be food, which they need anyway. Perhaps not at $11.00 but it’s not our fault, that’s the going rate. And if any of you take our idea and run with it, we want $3.00 per dog. Don’t grift us, now.

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