The smart people on this staff knew that Melania Trump had an older sister. The dumb one – who was somehow picked to write this article – had no idea. Yes, Melania has an older sister who blazed the same trail from Slovenia to New York in “fashion” (though as a designer, not model) and looks to be the closest friend Melania has, which can’t be that hard. They share a hatred for the media, blaming the media for everything, including this website by name. No, we are not hurt.

Where to begin? Not with the tweets, that’s for damn sure. They make less sense than “the dumb one’s” articles. The dumb tweets are down below our smarter observations.

Unbeknownst to even the cool and smart people on this staff, Ines Knauss (Melania’s big sis) has a Twitter account that is locked tighter than Melania’s skirts. Ines has apparently added 13 people to her account since 2018, which makes one wonder why she doesn’t just hit “reply all” on her email and streamline the process a bit. But who are we to judge? Well, with respect to Melania and family, we judge everything, so, just saying. We don’t want to be rude and only judge one. Meanwhile, some of us wouldn’t have guessed that there were thirteen people who knew Ines was Melania’s sister.

The sisters are close to the point that they seem to share the exact same thoughts on nearly everything. Admittedly, it’s easier to have the same thoughts when both are extremely limited in “thoughts” all together. Before we set out those very limited thoughts, there are a couple items worth pondering for pure entertainment.

Even Ines cannot figure out why her sister was stupid enough to wear the “I don’t Care Do U” coat. It is surprising that Ines communicated at all with Melania afterward, being somewhat frightened by such stupidity. It also seems as though Melania’s father (and Ines, a little) aren’t big fans of Donald, especially about immigration, what with being immigrants and all. And, as said, the media is at fault for everything negative. Everything. Including us. Oh, and “stop saying fck Christmas!” Ines might be a bit smarter than Melania, but then again, there are trees that seem smarter than…

Here’s one tweet that shows a text conversation between Ines and her father during the January 6th storming of the Capitol.

The translation is:

Ines: Are you watching CNN?

Dad: Of course I’m watching. ❤️

Dad: And Fox and OAN.

Writer Ashley Feinberg did a deep dive into Ines’s Twitter account and boy, it’s a lot of fun.

And at least based on some of her faved tweets, her own opinion of her brother-in-law is less than stellar. Here, for instance, is just a sample of tweets faved during Trump’s February 9 impeachment trial. Nearly all were similarly derisive.

And perhaps even more notably, there’s this:

Ines did speak a little more freely about other members of the family. Here she is happily partaking in some Jared-bashing (remember those rumors of Melania’s occasional power struggles with the Ivanka/Jared wing of things?):

Next, our little ol’ website gets a mention from Ines. It’s regarding an article written in February 2020 about her father, Viktor Knavs, and how he was able to get citizenship despite allegedly serving time in Slovenia for tax fraud.

When we wrote the article we used The Daily Beast as our source. For some reason Ines never attacked the Daily Beast, just us.

Last, there is some weird ass reference to aliens, specific aliens, the Pleiadians. This group of aliens are here to help us. Now, we want to make it very clear, Ines is correct. It is fact because “the dumb one” (Me) wrote an entire novel based upon this “fact.” (No, the novel is fiction and very very good fiction at that, but it’s odd that she’s picking up the same vibes). Is she stalking us? Entirely possible, and even more creepy. She will love this article, for sure.

Despite the fact that the Pleiadian thing makes exactly no sense unless she’s a bigger conspiracy freak than Trump and this author put together, the rest here is almost pure Melania. In other words, it’s dumb, too:

And this tweet, well, it’s quite a flex:

She data Dracula? That’s the single coolest thing she’s tweeted, even if it’s less true than the fact that the Pleiadians are here to help us.

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