Ancestor:

A person, typically one more remote than a grandparent, from whom one is descended.

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From Trump’s speech last night, video below, if you dare: Trump: Our ancestors crust, just absolutely crushed fascism.

Let’s momentarily look past the fact that we’re certain that our ancestors absolutely crushed it when making crust. We can picture it now, those big iron baking ovens, probably pretty hot, which would make a nice hard crust (the best part) surrounding soft bread. All we get now is this brown coloring on top of a square loaf

We’ll get back to that in a minute. Trump wanted his audience to know that our ancestors absolutely “crushed” fascism. There is no doubt that the U.S. paid a gut-wrenching sacrifice in liberating the world from fascism in World War II and that sacrifice should never be forgotten, we doubt it ever will. But it sure sounds odd coming out as “ancestors” since 75-year-old Trump could easily have been fathered by one of those who gave all to make the world safe for democracy. Obviously, Fred didn’t serve, in fact, he was investigated for war profiteering off housing projects made to be barracks.

Regardless, the point is that – “Our” – ancestors didn’t crush fascism, nor did they crust them over.

Given that it was Independence Day, we suspect that Trump was referencing eventually defeating the British. It was a good win, but no historian would call it a “crushing victory,” or they wouldn’t have been back in 1812 burning down our house. More importantly, other than beating the King and other “upper crust” British loyalists, our ancestors won their freedom from monarchy, which is quite different than fascism.

So let’s just clean this up for Trump, “Our ancestors managed to overcome all odds to defeat the upper-crust loyalists and monarchists in the United States and Great Britian, crushing the King’s dream of extending his kingdom to the states.”

But we can’t expect Trump to get these things right, can we? He couldn’t get the big things right, like what counts as income!

Trump: Our ancestors crust, just absolutely crushed fascism pic.twitter.com/A2w7prWh0j

— Acyn (@Acyn) July 4, 2021

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