Former Vice President Mike Pence — Solid Christian, lawyer, radio host, and… sex machine? That’s what a young man named Bobby Hummer must have thought when Pence came to speak to Texas A&M University last week.

Pence was taking questions from the audience after a lecture that was part of a tour organized by Young America’s Foundation. YAF is an organization dedicated to fomenting conservative values in young people across the country. Some notable names: Jeff Sessions, Scott Walker, and yes, infamous white nationalist Stephen Miller have all come out of YAF on a mission to preserve “traditional values” that apparently include banning immigration, restricting the rights of women, and union-busting.

But young Bobby Hummer seemed uninterested in becoming part of the Stephen Miller school of hating brown people that night. He had just one thing on his mind as his turn came to ask the former Vice President a question. A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity only comes along, well, once, and he wasn’t going to waste it on asking the best way to avoid taxes once he becomes a billionaire or how best to push through an extremist Supreme Court candidate.

Nope, Bobby wanted to know how to pick up girls, and he reckoned the best guy to ask was a guy who calls his wife Karen “Mother” and has a standing policy against ever being alone in a room with a woman who is not Mother.

That may seem like a strange kind of person to look for advice from, but then, as Bobby himself pointed out, Pence was part of the administration that pardoned Lil’ Wayne and Kodak Black, so he must be at least kind of cool.

After thanking Pence for being half of the greatest political duo of all time and of course getting his favorite rappers out of trouble, Hummer cut to the point.

You’re getting a lot of political questions, so I need a wise man to answer this for me: What do you think is the most effective method to getting a girlfriend in college?

Now, Bobby had no way of knowing this, and because he’s a young Republican, no interest in doing any research on the matter. But the thing is, Roberto, Mike never had a girlfriend in college. His first and only flame, Mother, was a woman he met when he was almost done with law school, and he married her nearly 40 years ago.

But Bobby’s smile was so big, and he was so proud of his moment with the microphone and the spotlight that Pence shone up at him like a beam of glorious evangelical wisdom from the center of the stage:

Well that’s a tough one, because as my wife knows, I didn’t date anyone before her. You know, go sit down, you don’t have any problem, I can tell.

So if this really was dating advice, the takeaway is: Don’t date anyone until you find the last person you ever want to date. Marry them and never be in the presence of a woman without them. Smile and laugh awkwardly when youthful college students ask you one day how to become the Barry White of a man you are today.

Watch this incredible exchange, and thank me later.

Yep, this happened.

A TAMU student asked Vice President @Mike_Pence for college dating advice, and he answered it perfectly! pic.twitter.com/59s6zgJLjd

— YAF (@yaf) November 12, 2021

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