A woman from Pennsylvania has been convicted on – brace yourself – coughing and spitting on food at a supermarket, last year, in the early days of the coronavirus pandemic, while claiming to have COVID. She was sentenced Tuesday to at least a year in jail. There is nothing to indicate she had COVID but how much does that even matter? Who wants to eat food that anyone has coughed and spit all over? She could say she’s full of the Lord’s grace and no one’s eating it.

According to NPR.

Authorities said Cirko entered a Gerrity’s Supermarket location in Hanover Township, near Wilkes-Barre, on March 25, 2020, and purposely coughed on fresh produce and other merchandise while yelling that she had the virus and that everyone would get sick.

The article does not give any particular reason for why she wanted people to believe she was sick, although, we might point out, it was self-evident that she was sick. The diagnosis may have spanned a lot of medical textbooks, but she was sick.

Joe Fasula, co-owner of the supermarket chain, said that over $35,000 worth of merchandise had to be thrown out as a result of what Gerrity’s had called a “twisted prank.”

Well, the owner had to call it something. But having seen plenty of “twisted pranks” in our younger years on athletic teams and… we know a twisted prank when we see one. This is more like a plain old garden variety crime. There is a difference, subtle sometimes, but there’s a difference.

A Luzerne County judge called Cirko’s conduct “totally outrageous” and sentenced her to one to two years in jail, to be followed by eight years of probation. She also was ordered to pay nearly $30,000 in restitution.

Her attorney said that she was int0xicated at the time. Yes, people who are charged with DUIs are also int0xicated at the time, that’s not really a defense. We are interested in knowing about what she might have been int0xicated with. Benadryl? Meth? LSD? The last one might be the only one that might mitigate the thing, somewhat. If she believed… never mind. Nothing forgives this and yes, she deserves at least a year in jail. She essentially “stole” $30,000 because she… we have no idea what she was thinking if anything.

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