I normally write on behalf of the entire staff at this website (it takes more people than you would think), including the gorgeous, absurdly over-educated, funny, insightful, man-magnate, owner of this site who decides how much to pay me. But on this one article, I’m going alone, this isn’t a report about how “we” analyzed anything, this is about “me” and how I am analyzing dealing with COVID – the delta variant – even though I have been vaccinated for over five months.

Do not be me.

Well, certainly be me and get vaccinated, yes – do that. But do not do what I did after getting vaccinated.

About three weeks after my second Pfizer shot, I began to act as if the disease did not exist, at least not in my world. My lovely 13-year-old daughter who lives with me was vaccinated the first day possible and I enjoyed a blissful existence believing nothing “COVID” could touch me. I was wrong.

Why I believed that I couldn’t possibly get a noticeable case of COVID is entirely beyond me because, from time to time, on good days, I can read and write. I do know people still get breakthrough cases. People can especially get breakthrough cases when they live in Alabama, even in touristy, expensive, artsy, and sophisticated towns two miles from the Bay and the Gulf, where most people are vaccinated.

I got a mild case of COVID. I still have a mild case of COVID. If any regulars have noticed that the articles haven’t been quite as charming or… perhaps bad, lately, it’s because I could barely see straight.

Let me explain what a “mild” case of COVID feels like, beyond an inability to write a complete sentence. The first two days, you wake up with your tongue hurting as if you bit it all night, but you didn’t because it goes away in two minutes. You wake up freezing even though your skin is on fire. You cannot figure out how you took a bath in your pajamas because you’re soaking wet. You have a headache. Someone inserted a small cheese grater in your throat and you are weak, you are so weak that you fall asleep at your computer and – humiliatingly – your daughter texts your boss, asking your boss to chew her dad out for working. Chewing people’s asses out comes quite naturally to most bosses. When they are forced to do it because a wonderful 13-year-old girl texted and plead, well – look the fruck out, because you ain’t getting a normal ass chewing.

Here is the other thing about COVID that no one talks about, it is so lonely. You see your daughter, sort of, you email (sort of, if you’ve got the strength), and that’s about it. Other than that, you sit alone, and of all of it, the loneliness might hurt as much as anything.

So I write today with one purpose and that’s to say that even if you’re vaccinated, and we presume everyone reading this article is vaccinated, COVID still exists. The delta one really exists, and it’s entirely possible that you’ll get it and you actually will notice. (unlike what we often hear). You will notice that you have a fever of 103 and your head hits the keyboard more than your fingers.

Odds are, you’ll get a “mild case” (If any), much milder than mine. But even a “mild” COVID case is like having the real flu, only it lasts longer and you’re not quite as sure when you’ll make it out of it. It is also far lonelier. You do not get short of breath, thankfully. But it is awful. In my “opinion,” you should get vaccinated, get everyone around you vaccinated, encourage your community to get vaccinated, but then when going to the store and out, just pretend there’s no vaccine at all. Wear a mask, keep your distance, all that stuff.

Chances are, you won’t get noticeable COVID. Chances were I wasn’t going to get noticeable COVID, You likely won’t. But you should use all the tools anyway. I did not use any of the anti-COVID tools after vax and I got it. Honestly, I don’t want you to get it, I don’t want anyone to get it. It is awful… and I had a mild case.

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