We ask in all seriousness. Does anyone really know Melania? Outside of her parents and Barron, who, of course, know and love her, does anyone really know Melania? We know what interests Trump when it comes to women. He may “know” every square centimeter of skin on Melania and yet not know her middle name or where she was born. Hell, he may not know the name of the son “he” had with her. We don’t think anyone really knows Melania.

You would think that a new documentary, made by Slovenian filmmakers, might shed some light on her true persona. Nope.

Catching Melania is a forthcoming documentary by Slovenian filmmakers Jurij and Tanja Gruden that digs into Melania Trump‘s rise from small town Slovenian peasant girl to First Lady of the United States. According to the Grudens, who are a husband/wife filmmaking team, Melania is by far the most famous person in the entire history of their country. “She remains one of the most photographed people in the world,” Tanja tells iNews. “Whether you like her or not, she attracts attention.”

Whether we like her or not? Not a problem, we do not like her and yes, she does attract attention. People who wear coats that say “I Don’t Care, Do U” when going to visit kids on the border, are the type that wants attention. Note, she did not wear that coat when going out to lunch with pals in Manhattan. No, she pulled that ugly army-green coat out to visit kids. Don’t tell us she doesn’t want attention, she just wants it on her terms.

Yet she remains an enigma to the people there, even those who knew her well growing up in Sevnica, a small provincial town about an hour outside of the country’s capital, Ljubljana. With Catching Melania, the Grudens hope to make sense of the mystique that surrounds her, as well as figure out why she’s so ashamed of her home country. “She closed all the connections with Slovenia,” Tanja says, noting that most Slovenians who move abroad love to come back and visit from time to time.

It is exceedingly difficult to trust people that shut off all connections from their past, people who almost seem to not have a past. There is usually a reason. And like the quote says, most people love going back to their “home” country, where they grew up. Mel doesn’t. We get the sense that Mel isn’t the sentimental type. She has the eye of the tiger for only two things of which we’re sure, one, money, and two – Euros, which is the same thing so long as you’re in Europe. Other than that, we’re previously reported that Melania aspires to nothing more than sitting around Mar-a-Lago all day being pampered in the spa.

Oh, there is one other thing we know about Mel. Unless you enjoy defending lawsuits, do not, under any circumstances, say that she was an escort. Most beautiful women aren’t all that sensitive about such silly accusations. The owner of this website is a beautiful woman (especially at the end of the month, she jaw dropping), most beautiful women would almost fall over laughing if someone made such an accusation, saying something about Bezos doesn’t have enough money to… Mel is not the “most beautiful women”:

The only Slovenian interviewed in the doc who still has any sort of contact with Melania is her lawyer, Nataša Pirc Musar, who represented her in a lawsuit against a tabloid that reported she used to be an escort. Musar describes her as “a very decisive lady and absolutely meticulous in her dealings.”

Rest assured, we have no trouble imagining Mel being very decisive and meticulous in dealing with being called an escort. She is so damned defensive about it that it sort of makes the conclusion self-proving. As we’ve said a million times, we’d have seen it as somewhat honorable if she said, “I was lied to about modeling and was a young woman in New York, I fought for myself.” Even we would support that answer and not just because it’s likely true but also because in the grand scheme of things, there would be far more honor in that work than the work Don did. Live we’ve said, at Mel’s clients desperately wanted to get fff…

Anyway, the documentary will be coming out soon, but it would seem like the most blockbusting thing in this film is that Mel slammed the door on Slovenia the moment she left, and jammed it tighter with each passing year, opening just a smidgeon to punish someone who might have suggested that she was once young, scared, alone, used, and broke. Fck, she makes the wrong call at every turn.

That is Mel’s legacy. Worry about Mel and Mel alone, and do a shitty job of it.

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