If we find out that the woman who ruined Jackie Kennedy’s Rose Garden didn’t even live in the White House… someone better prosecute.

There were always rumors. We never printed them. Rumors were rumors. There are rumors out there that one of the writers here is about to marry that girl in the AT&T commercials or some rich Californian media mogul. Who can keep track? Rumors.

But the rumors regarding Melania and where she resided are gaining some strength now that we have that entire nightmare behind us and some better-sourced information. Melania may have never lived at the White House, or at least may not have lived at the White House “full time.” We couldn’t possibly respect Melania any less, but having said that, could anyone blame her? We mean, could anyone blame her for anything other than the Rose Garden, which will never be forgiven, even if she slept in a tent under the cherry trees.

According to the Daily Mail (British Tabloids know where everyone sleeps)

“For four years in the White House, it was never quite clear how much time she was spending at the White House or in a house in Maryland where she had settled her parents,” Wolff writes in “Landslide: The Final Days of the Trump Presidency,” one of several recently published books on the Trump presidency. An excerpt of Wolff’s book was published by the Times of the U.K.  Wolff said, “Aides were careful not to closely inquire or openly wonder.”

We are pretty sure that aides would rather have a beer and talk with Stormy than Melania, which is ironic since… never mind.

Wolff also said there have been questions about whether the former first lady, 51, has been living with the president since he left the White House in January and wintered in Mar-a-Lago, his resort in Palm Beach, Florida. “Here in Mar-a-Lago, it also was unclear,” Wolff said.

Well, glad to hear Don’s lonely. Women tend to reach peak beauty at about age 51 and Don’s missing out. We suspect he’s a lonely guy missing a lot of people lately.

A CNN report in April added to this lack of clarity with a source close to the Trumps saying: “She’s not a presence at Mar-a-Lago at all. She’s not mingling with people and rarely interacts with her husband’s staff.”

Did Melania ever interact with staff? We should clarify. After Melania was promoted from staff, did she ever interact with staff? We aren’t sure whether that fact tells us much.

We aren’t sure whether this entire story tells us much. We know one thing. If Melania is considering divorce, Don better consider the price tag he would have to pay to prevent Melania from writing the best-selling tell-all of all time. Melania could come out smelling like a rose in that one, which is more than we can say for that parking lot she left in the White House.

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